Matt, when I first read this I could imagine opening my eyes, getting a glimpse of my surroundings, then filling in the limitations of my sight with that of my imagination, then entering into the deeper trance of a dream. I think the minimalism of your words requires your mind to put greater meaning into them, which is hard to accomplish. Just be conscious that not everyone is going to have the patience to put meaning into your words so you might want to further elaborate your poem and I know that flickr won't let you post the image but maybe getting a visual aid from google will help to elaborate.
Matt, when I first read this I could imagine opening my eyes, getting a glimpse of my surroundings, then filling in the limitations of my sight with that of my imagination, then entering into the deeper trance of a dream. I think the minimalism of your words requires your mind to put greater meaning into them, which is hard to accomplish. Just be conscious that not everyone is going to have the patience to put meaning into your words so you might want to further elaborate your poem and I know that flickr won't let you post the image but maybe getting a visual aid from google will help to elaborate.
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